Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in gshrub's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, October 20th, 2007
2:00 am	The blood of yellow men in single serving packets. Caffine + ADD = Good. I was losing at suduko. And as everyone knows, old chinese men win at suduko. Therefore I vowed to become as an old chinese man. The other option was to improve my relative score by initiating genocide against 1.31 billion people. Which, while reasonable doesn't quite seem fair, furthermore there might be an afterlife and I might go there and then 1.31 billion people might beat the fuck out of me with empty rice bowls for all eternity and that would kind of suck a little. Thus I began drinking green tea. Instead of water. I go through about a gallon a day, the first bottle I leave brewing next to my bed overnight and the result of this regimen is dope. Admittedly I still suck at suduko, but the world moves slower. There's time to do things in. I don't even know if its the caffinee, but whatever it is I like it. Everyone should sample its awesome. Your class project for the day is to down three glasses of the stuff. (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 7th, 2007
12:13 am	On the nature of wealth. How does a person go about enjoying wealth in the modern world? In the old era of hut dwelling it was quite easy, you built a giant drafty house, lined it with animal skins and dedicated a large pile of rocks to the hallucinatory god of your choice. But then socity changed, luxery and easy living became available to the common man the good things in life were cheap. How do the rich go about showing their superiority under such trying circumstances as now face them? To better answer this question let me describe the hotel room I'm staying in. It is about 1,200 square feet which gives the hotel staff a large area in which to hide things that I need. Like the ice bucket. Normally the ice bucket is a simple plastic tub kept in the bathroom next to the sink. Here the ice bucket is a three part affair that I mistook for an oddly shaped lava lamp, kept, logically enough, in the bottom cabinet in the kitchen behind the coffee maker. Because hotel glasses are to me what most sexual preventatives are to a horse I use the ice bucket as a large drinking mug, for a bit I was playing with the idea that perhaps the two gallon container under the bathroom sink was actually the ice bucket and not the garbadge can as it in fact is. Having resolved that issue I layed down on the expensive sleep number bed. This is an impressive bit of engineering, its as if someone gave you a brick and informed you that you could give it a degree of softness anywhere between granite and pumice. If they then informed you that you were expected to sleep on the thing you'd probably tell them they were daft and go lie on the couch (which, incidentally, is equally uncomfortable) having forseen this the inventor heightened the sides of the variable softness brick so that you can not actually get off of it in any dignified manner. This bed is supposed to be for old people, I am a fairly young fellow, I am also a martial artist, to get off this thing I have to grab the side and physically lever my body onto the ground. Which is really quite a selling point. I can just imagine all the poor grandmothers of the world helplessly struggling against its insidious grip, gradually weakening until the family comes to visit and comments on how much granny likes her new bed, "See little Jimmy? Grandmaw hasn't gotten up in a week! That bed must be very comfortable!" then of course she dies and little Jimmy makes a mental note to get his parents a sleep number bed when they get to be granny's age. How they managed to make a bed that is undeniably soft and yet, at the same time, rock like, I can't guess. I have three closets. Which is odd because I only have two water glasses. This bothers me because the hotel is in essence implying that clothing is more important than water. I also have a room with nothing in it other than a light. The light has lag time. You turn on the switch and several seconds later the incadescent bulb comes on. I don't know why this is. I expect it has something to do with radio waves, Tesla or the Matrix. I'm a bit frightened of the room. Its the sort of room that needs a battered wooden chair at its center and a rack of sharp, crooked metal devices on the wall. That room has to have a purpose, no architect says, "And here we will put The Empty Room.", it simply doesn't happen. It had to have a purpose, like The Grand Master Closet, or maybe it was put there for all the daughters of rich folk who simply can't bear leaving their pure bred Ponies at home. Its about the right size and has every amenity a pony could ask for, including a water trough. Admitedly the trough has a light in it at the moment, but ponies, unlike rich people, aren't picky. I will admit that they might have meant it to be an Empty Room. In which case they are not architects, they are probably into chinese zen samuri interior decorating and should be fed to The Empty Room. Which, being empty, will consume them. If it didn't it wouldn't be empty anymore. Furthermore the only thing nature hates more than a vacuum is new age architecture. There are four full length mirrors. There are no lights except for the one in the bathroom and the one in The Empty Room. There are many lamps, but no, actual, on the wall lights. None of the lamps are located near the mirrors. I think this was just stupid as it doesn't really relate to my thesis on rich people enjoying misery. The room service menu is five pages long. Unless you are ordering after ten in which case it is less than a half page long and consists of things you probably stopped making at the age of eight when you figured out how to boil things without using the microwave. Mac & Cheese - $11.95 Macaroni with celery sticks Cup of Noodles - $7.50 Instant noodles with your choice of either Beef or Seafood flavour Chips and Dip - $9.50 A bag of chips served with onion dip Remember, this is a five star hotel. Rich people stay here. What bothers me most about this is the fact that if rich people are this stupid and I'm not one of them, what does that say about me? (Comment on this)
Friday, January 5th, 2007
7:31 pm	I gave my uncle a computer. And he, not actually wanting a computer gave it to this other woman. Then this other woman said it didn't work (because she didn't have a dial-up account and therefore couldn't go anywhere with it), so she had some jackass from best buy who was dating her daughter come over and upgrade it to windows XP. I don't know why he did this, however, he works for best buy so really knowledge and skill are probably not his strong points. I assume he was relying on the XP telepathy feature, then my uncle told me it didn't work and asked me to fix it. And I told him no. Then I decided I was bored so I called the woman. I told her I would give her a 2.8 ghz machine with a gig of Ram in it for free because I happened to have an extra one. She agreed that this would be wonderful. Then I called her back an hour later and told her that I couldn't get a ride and asked if she could pick me up. She told me that really I was to far away and not to worry about it she'd just get the guy from Best Buy to fix her computer. Right. Sure you will. She also told me that he was the manager of best buy and therefore knew what he was doing. Amazing. Apparently her daughter gave up on a singularly unique best buy employee. I haven't met a competant person there yet. This is why I hate people. I offer to give you a free machine and you refuse to drive three miles to get me so I can install it for you, you know I find that kind of shit really offensive. How worthless do you think my time is? It isn't as if she's doing anything, she's an old hag, she is waiting to die. Eventually she will die, having accomplished nothing other than wasting about an hour of my life. I could have been doing something else with that time. I could have picked my nose. For an hour. Or sung bawdy drinking songs to my cousin's children. Something. I also have six credits now having passed both the psych and western civ clep tests. Some day I will take a vacation where I don't do anything, someday, yeah, sure I will. I go to Canada tomorrow at 1:30. Where I will stay in the Radisson for two weeks, return to bethel and then go back for another two weeks in February. Using my great powers of predication I sense that I will hate this and desire the demise of the entire country prior my departure. I was having an argument with my cousin about the validity of astrology. She won because she keeps accurately guessing the star signs of people she's never met. Being somewhat scientific about things I figured I'd check to see if other Geminis hated life as much as I do. No real way to confirm that, it does bear mentioning that we aren't kings, ever, of any nation. We held the papacy twice in history one was a Medici was was assasinated the other was a fellow named Celestine V. His story is interesting, let me tell it, see if you see any similarities between his personality and mine. Once there was a man named Pietro Angelerio he was raised in a religious setting, became a benedictine monk and decided that he prefered a life of solitude. So he went off and lived in a cave. Tragically people decided that anyone living in a cave must be very holy, so people started coming to his cave intent on learning the secret of his holiness. After five years of this he founded a monestary on the site of his former cave and moved to another cave. This is the point where he erred greatly. At the time the council of cardinals was trying to decide on a neutral pope who would uphold the interests of the catholic church without being favored overly by any faction within the council. Pietro got impatient with this and send them a letter advising them to hurry up and elect someone before God became irrate with them. Upon reciving this letter the aged and probably senile cardinal Latino Malabranca promptly nominated Pietro, his decision was ratified unanimously by the rest of the council and so he was elected pope. Upon hearing this news Pietro quite sensibly ran away. Only to be hunted down by the council and several kings who begged him to take the office and threatened him with what might happen if he didn't. Then, after being dragged back to Aquila (where the head offices of catholicism were at the time) he gracefully accepted. During his tenure he issued two decrees, the first confirmed that the council of cardinals should be shut in during conclave and the second established the right of any pope to advocate the papacy. Which he promptly did having been pope for five months and eight days. He then went back to living in his cave. Sadly the new pope, Boniface the eigth, didn't feel that his posistion was secure so long as his predecessor was still alive therefore he sent for Pietro intent upon doing him mischief. Pietro, upon being informed of this, quite rationally ran away again. Only to be captured and locked in a dank prison cell in the castle of Furmone until his death ten months later. Possibly due to the air or, possibly, due to having his skull bashed in with a pike. Okay so the only similarity is that neither of use like people and we both like caves. Its still a good story. (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 23rd, 2006
10:26 am	Sociology, Borat and Ethnic Folkways I saw borat this evening, which is appropriate because I am also studying for the sociology CLEP test. Borat is really nothing more than a sociological experiment. Sociology terms the expected culture code of behaviour "folkways" things that are expected of a member of a given society but not actually required. If you don't conform to them you will be thought odd but not actually punished. Borat is funny because he systematically violates every American folkway he can come up with. I find this interesting because it both explains how Benni gets away with so much and broadens my personal horizons. Plus a bunch of PHDs terming things by the highly technical construct of "Folkways" is utterly quaint. My continued efforts to cheat my way through college meet with only limited success. I studied for the Psych CLEP for a week and got a mere 66 our of 80. Why were my scores so low? Because I couldn't find the damned answers that's why. It is simply lax on the part of someone that the answers for that particular battery of tests isn't online in an easily downloadable format somewhere. What the hell is the point of being a sociopath if you have to play by the rules just based on the fact that there isn't a straight forward method of exploiting them? There is an old story about a horse thief who did a great favor for a rancher. The rancher decides to give the horse thief a beautiful horse as payment. Upon telling the thief of his decision he's suprised when the thief chews his lip a bit and asks if the Rancher wouldn't mind leaving the horse out back overnight so he can steal it. If studied and aced every single college course open to me it wouldn't feel anywhere near as good as it does to cheat and get away with it. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 25th, 2006
11:29 am	The Insanity Meme Hello children and Benni. It is time to play the "Am I crazy?" Meme. This Meme consists of 20 questions with a score of 2 given for a trait definately present, 1 given for a trait that is somewhat present and 0 given for a trait that is not present. A score of 30 or greater makes you a clinical psychopath, five is normal and the average federal prisoner socred 22. Do you know what the treatment for being a clinical psychopath is? That's right, being locked up for the protection of society! Because there is no treatment, no cure and no hope. Incidently Sociopathy and Psychosis are commonly misdiagnosed as depression in clinics nationwide. Which is fortunate, because otherwise they'd be locking a lot of us up. 1. Glibness/superficial charm 2. Grandiose sense of self-worth 3. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom 4. Pathological lying 5. Conning/manipulative 6. Lack of remorse or guilt 7. Shallow affect 8. Callous/lack of empathy 9. Parasitic lifestyle 10. Poor behavioral controls 11. Promiscuous sexual behavior 12. Early behavioral problems 13. Lack of realistic, long-term goals 14. Impulsivity 15. Irresponsibility 16. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions 17. Many short-term marital relationships 18. Juvenile delinquency 19. Revocation of conditional release 20. Criminal versatility I got 36. And that's because I generally hate women and have been fortunate in not being offically detained. You know Benni, what bothers me is that I think you knew I wasn't depressed, I think you knew exactly what the clinical term for my condition was, because you applied it to yourself at one time. In the future tell me things like that before I make the mistake of telling a doctor my problems and end up being locked up for the good of society. Of course the definition of both general sociopathy and psychopathy fit me to a T along with almost everyone I get along with. And there is no cure. I don't have the capacity to feel love, fear or various other emotions, I seek thrills because its the only way to get the chemical effects everyone else attains as part of their daily lives. And unlike most diseases if I tell anyone about this one in an offical capacity they will lock me up, they will express no sympathy, they will not try to help me and they will treat me like a social aboration. This is like discovering that you have a chronic form of cancer that there is no cure for and... No. This is like being diagnosed with leprosy back in the middle ages. Except lepers got sympathy for their problems, people don't tend to feel sorry for someone who reguards them as a potential prey animal. I am a good LJ user, I have posted a meme. (Comment on this)
Friday, November 17th, 2006
7:03 am	A Young Girl's Diary, Conclusion That has to be the most one of the most depressing endings to any story, real or imagined, I've ever read. EDITOR'S NOTE Rita's joyful expectations of tobogganing among glistening snow-clad hills, remained unfulfilled. The rude hand of fate was thrust into the lives of the two sisters. On January 29th their father, suddenly struck down with paralysis, was brought home in an ambulance, and died in a few hours without recovering consciousness. Torn from the sheltering and affectionate atmosphere of home, separated from her most intimate friend, the young orphan had to struggle for peace of soul in the isolation of a provincial town -- -- -- The End It actually sounds like the begining of a 1950s dramatic play. Jesus. (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
7:59 am	I don't actually understand anything. In turn this makes it difficult and highly accidental to teach things. I came to this suprising realization when the college teacher I help out now and then asked me why static ram was more expensive than dynamic ram. And I gave him the stock answer that there were speed differences and one tended to be closer to the cutting edge of technology, more compact and more power efficent. And he said, "Yes, but you're just giving me the canned answer, do you know why at the physical level? Do you know what exactly is different that manifests itself with the conditions you described?" I admited that I didn't and asked him. He then informed me that he didn't know either. It then occured to me that in order to truly teach something one must understand it, because I don't understand things I am not an overly good teacher. I have two abilities, I can absorb information from books which impresses academics and I can fix real world problems which impresses those people who don't have their heads in the clouds. But I don't really understand the information or what I'm doing to fix the problems I encounter. I have a set of canned procedures which I have found to work by trial and error. I don't think. When I fix a computer I do it by route memory, which may explain why I can do it so quickly, its a mental logic chart, there isn't thought involved. This bothers me. I'm going to work on fixing this. I will simplify things until I encounter philosiphy and then start one level above it. (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 12th, 2006
12:12 am	Benni, I'm looking for a documented case history(ies) on Freud's patients. At one point you mentioned the contents of several of them, would you mind providing me with the URL? Before I come to any complete conclusion on Freud's motivations I'm going to finish reading his books, however a large portion of his methodology appears to be an effort on his part to 'prove' that the social abnormalities he suffered from are present in and a normal part of everyone. LOL Mass Psychological Projection. If modern psychology is largely a derivative of Freud's work and Freud was under the influence of cocaine during his most productive years what does that imply about modern psychology? (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 11th, 2006
6:49 am	There is an open request for a book on do-it-yourself tattoing in a.b.e.b. Also I have been informed that I am a half shit. A co-worker was giving away her training manual (because she's leaving) and both I and Mary wanted it. I was awarded the book (which is nothing but blank pages, because, that's what they give you for a training manual at this company) and Mary infomed me that I was a half shit. Not a little shit, nor a big shit, but a half shit. I wanted a book to draw stairs in and she wanted to give it to her son to do homework in. My cause was more just because I wouldn't be inspiring misery in the life of a child. Unless I made him look at my stairs. I have never been called a half shit before. (Comment on this)
Friday, November 10th, 2006
5:59 am	I went to Toksook Bay today. While I was there I installed some shit for a telmedicine circuit, met a fellow named Larry, refused to read Dr. Seuess's Alphabet book to Larry's two year old granddaughter who imperiously handed it to me and had the unpleasent experience of having the ink in my pen freeze while I was trying to draw stairs whilst awaiting my flight home. I also thawed the pen after Bob showed up with the only truck in Tooksok Bay. Then the plane landed and we went home. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 8th, 2006
10:12 pm	Cold I was in Nightmute. Items of interest: Aaron stole the tribal chief's four wheeler and then, after the chief found us, got him to give us a ride back from the village store. The plane that was supposed to take us home had a mechanical failure and never showed up. I got cold, slept on a cot and refused the profered female bed warmer. I met a Catholic Priest who gave me a high five for having a teacher who handed out F- as a standard grade. I ate pasta. Apparently it is common to include mayonese when making macaronia and cheese. At least it is here. Nightmute has internet access and its PAP is up and running. God stole my idea and is an art theif. I am cold. That is all. (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
5:11 am	Benni and the power of social Aikido. I've been thinking about Benni's comment that his thought pattern is a viral meme. I have concluded that it isn't his thought pattern, rather its the way in which he interacts with people. I am unlike Benni in most ways, yet I'm guilty of using some of his social interaction methods. I have concluded that over the years of seemingly useless chat Benni has developed a highly efficent method of gaining social acceptance with virtually no labor or thought on his part. I walked into a company warehouse today and spoke to the head of the facilities maintance department, he asked what I was doing there and I informed him that I had decided to hang with the cool kids because I wanted to be one to. Then I realized I was quoting Benni and submited that comment to analysis. I have, or Benni has since I got it from him, managed to convey three compliments in one sentance and, at the same time, he has almost insured his acceptance into the group because to deny him entrance would draw into question the three things he has just given the group to feel good about. First he stated that they are cool. Which is positive. Second he has stated that he would like to be like them. Third he has implied that he is presently worse than they are in some way. Benni talk isn't a method of communication, nor is it a way to convey ideas, it is a way to control and direct group dynamics. It also indicates that Benni has spent way to much time chatting with people at or below the intelligence of the average cod fish. It works on everyone to, the only problem is that for it to be truly effective on important people it has to be employed from a known sterotype or at least a classifiable point. People who take themselves seriously like to know where in the hierarchy they are, people like Benni are either entirely outside the normal power structure or so far below it that they aren't worth bothering with. For Benni to enter the group structure of, say, a bunch of business people he would need to be a member of some class they understand, like a college student, or a manager or something they encounter in their day to day lives, know how to deal with and consider a potential intellectual equal. If he ever figures that out and has the desire to do so he could meet with great monetary gain and rise very rapidly simply because he can make people feel good. All he needs is a viable cover story to explain why he's involved with them in the first place. At any rate most of us, wheither we've been aware of it or not, have now been indoctrinated in the mental arts of Benni-Fudo wherein the tounge is faster than the brain and everyone wants to give you free shit. We should start a club. And let only the cool kids join... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
6:47 pm	My Boss is Awesome I sent an E-Mail requesting things from my boss, a wish list. It being a wish list is should be expressed in a wishful way. He responded to me by sending five different E-Mails. I have listed them to demonstrate that he is indeed awesome. ______________________ 3, although being the correct answer to most questions, it not always the most appropriate. Take for instance the following situation: You are sitting in one of the finer drinking establishment watching the fine young ladies disrobe when a gentleman approaches with a bunch of roses. He inquires "Would you like to buy a flower for the lady". In this case the answer "3" would not be appropriate because then the gentleman would they expect you to give him an ridiculous amount of money, say 60 bucks. These same 60 bucks would be better used to pay the same said "lady" to provide you with some much needed personal attention, which would be a much better use of your resources. The correct answer in this situation is therefore: "No thanks, I don't smoke". This same answer can be use in most instances where 3 would not be the correct answer; Would you like fries with that?... No thanks, I don't smoke. Do you have any idea just how fast you were traveling when you drove through that school zone?... No thanks, I don't smoke. Sir, have you been drinking?... No thanks, I don't smoke. I hope this helps in clarifying the answer to the question you did not ask. If you have any other questions, please fell free to ask. You already know the answer. ________________________ > I wish as many RJ-45 to 9 pin DB connector as the twelvth sultan of Persia > had wives. > That would be 3. Bahá'u'lláh had three concurrent wives by the names of Ásíyih (Navváb) <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%c3%81s%c3%adyih_kh%c3%a1num>, Fatimih Khanum <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/bah%c3%a1%27u%27ll%c3%a1h%27s_family#fatimih_khanum_.28title_given_by_bah.c3.a1.27u.27ll.c3.a1h:_mahd-i-.27ulya.29> and Gawhar <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/bah%c3%a1%27u%27ll%c3%a1h%27s_family#gawhar_khanum>. Bahá'u'lláh had fourteen children, only seven of whom lived to adulthood. > I wish a number of CDRs equal to the toes of a family of twelve. That > farms and operates heavy machinery. That would also be 3. > I wish a length of ethernet cable long enough to lash together the boards > with which to make Divinci's Lever. > 3 again. > I wish a number of null modem cables equal to the height of the tallest > midget, in inches. Tall midgets are real small, 3. > I also wish to inform my employeer that I will be taking a vacation either > equal to the number of days in a leap month or equal to the rest of my > natural and unnatural life, depending on his preference. > 3? > I further wish instruction on the method of drawing curved stairs. > Instructions already sent. > And, given all those things, I shall be happy and content, to think up more. > As you can see, any question requiring an numerical answer can be answered with the same response: 3. This is very useful, as it save a great deal of thought. 3 is alway the answer, correct or not. Pick a number between 1 and 10... 3. Pick a card, any card... 3 of any suit will do. What is the atomic weight of depleted uranium... 3. (3 in this case may not be the correct answer. But does it really matter anyway? Anyone who would ask a question about the atomic weight of an element is just trying to show off his superior intelligence, and is therefore is, by definition, an idiot, with an IQ of 3. 3 being the correct response to most any question.) ___________________________________ When placing curved stairs I am not able to remain in the curved stair mode. The information in this article applies to: Better Homes and Gardens Home Designer Suite 6.0 *SYMPTOMS* From the menu I select *Build > Stairs > Curve to Left* or *Curve to Right* and click once on the plan to place the curved stairs. If I try to place a second set of curved stairs, I cannot. I must first return to the menu and select *Build > Stairs > Curve to Left* or *Curve to Right*. *CAUSE* Curved stairs can only be placed in a drawing, they are not drawn in as straight stairs are. To place a curved set of stairs in a structure, you must first enter curved stair mode, as described above. *RESOLUTION* Because curved stair mode will only allow you to insert one set of curved stairs at a time, you will need to select *Build > Stairs > Curve to Left* or *Curve to Right* for each set of curved stairs you want to place in a plan. *MORE INFORMATION* For more information on creating stairs using Better Homes and Gardens Home Designer Suite 6.0 see page 135 of the Home Designer Suite 6.0 User's Guide. > I further wish instruction on the method of drawing curved stairs. He also sent me several other links on rendering GTK stairs. That is all. I am getting him a gift certificate or something. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
7:59 am	I was proud of my co-worker today. At first I thought there was no hope for her, she is in her fifties and wears dresses with odd floral patterns on them, she also conforms to all the standards of niceness that one would normally associate with elderly grandmothers or mothers in law. I was being my usual negative self, displaying a general disreguard for the problems which had summoned me to the customer service section of the building in which this person works. I was also stealing their candy, not because I like candy, but because it appears to annoy people when I methodically eat all of it. The topic of relationships came up and I expressed my opinion that people shouldn't ever live together because they're all fundamentally self-serving, insensitive, greed driven and manipulative. The usual comments were made about me dying old and alone (who doesn't die alone?) I laughed at them and informed them that I would make a point of dying in the near future in the middle of their floor so that they would be tripping over my rotting putrid corpse for weeks on end. To my utter astonishment the grandmotherly type woman who is in charge of the customer service department said, "No, as mad as you made me if you die I'll have you cleaned up so fast it'd make your head spin, we'll take you outside and have a barbecue, a nice hot dog roast, I bet we can get half the staff in from Anchorage for it, we'll have a company party." Its things like that which keep me going from day to day. Of course I'm going to do something vicious to her, but the fact that she's able to express the fact that she hates me that much is a wonderful thing. I've been a complete bastard for the last several weeks now, I'm always at least an hour late, I refuse to do anything job related and I invite all my co-workers to either assist me in drawing stairs or go in for a CoD tournement in the back room. I'm being as blatent as possible, I used to lie and claim that I was doing work when I wasn't. Now I lie and claim that I'm not doing work when I actually am. I did actually get one fellow to draw stairs with me, but he got bored and drew a playground set instead, so that doesn't really count. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
7:24 am	Demons and the wrath of Ping Ping is a short Chinese man who isn't a pilot. Demons are large angry multi-ethnic spirits with demonic spiritual beliefs which involve eating your spiritual beliefs for supper. The purpose of this post is to express the fact that I like "Demons and the wrath of Ping" as a title. It'd make a great B grade horror flick. In a feat of bad engineering the like of which the world has never seen the head engineer on the company wide communications project insisted that an anti-static glue be used to adhere the anti-static tiles to the anti-static plastic floor. Which is retarted but whatever. So this was done. And it was good. Until someone spilled a bottle of water on the anti-static floor and it was learned that the anti-static floor tile glue was water soluble. Then all the floor tiles pulled away from the floor at odd angles. To solve this problem the chief engineer, rather than getting a better glue, ordered all the floor tiles in all the equipment buildings to be thermoplastically welded together with a hot air gun. Which is the most retarted thing I've heard since I started work for this company, and that's saying a hell of a lot. So now we have anti-static floor tile mats on anti-static floors cushioned by a thin layer of disolved anti-static glue. I was talking to one of the people involved in this project, he was laughing, but after spending two days in a village welding the floor together he assured me that he was only laughing because he was really very drunk. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
9:03 pm	"You are an instructor at a Cisco Networking Academy and one of your students has a few questions about QoS. After class she comes into your office and asks, "If I wanted to configure congestion avoidance, what mechanism randomly drops packets with a certain IP precedance value when the buffers fill to a predefined threshold?", what mechanism is she talking about?" Barring the fact that she needs to get a life, or a pet, on an electric accesory, or a drug habit, the lady is probably talking about CAVE. CAVE has had a random censorship program going for years. Remember children, CAVE is the reason your prawn downloads always contain three corupt packets that make them totally unextractable. Or Eris. I blame a lot of networking problems on her. Let us now reflect on the wonders of cheese. 1. Cheese is mold. 2. Like all molds cheese is a fungus. 3. Certain Fungus has been shown to have benifical effects in killing flies. Therefore to repel flies one must simply heat cheese on a gridle until it catches fire and fills ones house with smoke. Dead flies can be used in ornamental arrangements. I am lying on the floor of a phone company CO in Tuntutuliak. In parting I suggest you demand three pounds of Sharp Orange American Shrooms from your local grocer post haste. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 16th, 2006
3:42 am	Who do you appoint treasurer in a theives guild? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 7th, 2006
7:34 am	I am proud of myself. I got another batch of books in today, books on drawing, it occured to me after the first ten pages of the first book that the only thing the book would teach me is how to draw knockoffs of what the original author drew. The reason I read, play music and dream in general is because I HATE this reality, I don't like it, I want to get the hell out of it, with this in mind drawing for the purpose of imitiating someone else is incredibly stupid. That's what my problem has been with drawing for the last several years, I don't want to copy someone else, I don't want their style to influence mine, I don't like the way they dream. I have my own mental fantasies that I like to enmesh myself in. I shouldn't have to look at their crap for reference to draw mine. I have been pursuing this all wrong, I do not want to draw "well" or produce anything that's recognizable to anyone else. I want to put my fantasies down on paper, I want to take the pictures out of my head and stick them in a bound notebook. I don't want to draw people, or still lifes or anything else in this world. I want to draw my imagination. I drew a little lizard character playing with a mobile, in some kind of castle, next to a well. Took about five minutes, I didn't use circles as a guide for his body, or references points, or an eraser. I just took what was in my head and put it on paper. Of course what's in my head is kind of fuzzy, but its the right idea. I could have found a reference book on lizard drawing, I could have based him and his surroundings off someone else's work. It might have looked better, but that's not the point. I drew this. No one else did. I believe that the ability to dream is probably the most important trait an artist can have, if you can't dream you're basically a medeval version of the copy machine. What I don't get is why no one told me this sooner. Creativity is simple. Close your eyes and imagine somewhere you want to be or something you like, or a totally wild dream. There. If you can't do that you should seek employment in the field of law enforcement or politics. Art is personal, that's what a style is, your own personal way of doing something, that means it comes from you, which suggests that things you draw should reflect things you enjoy, or ideas you like, or shapes that appeal to you. If you don't relate to what you're drawing you probably aren't going to enjoy drawing it. This may be why I hate most art I see online. I should be able to look at a picture and know why you drew it, the idea you were trying to convey. You shouldn't have to explain it to me. About half the art in the online community, if not more, looks like it was constructed with a mental cut and paste program. I really dislike cookie cutter art work. Look! Its the same character you drew in the last eight pictures, with a different hat, no background, and a two sentance explination to fill in what you could have explained by finishing the drawing. And wonders never cease people are faving it. Its taken a very long time, but I have finally come to the conclusion that the ability to accurately represent things on paper does not, by itself, make one an artist. Therefore I shall cease pursuing it, instead I will draw what I would like to see and do, and the places I would like to go. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 1st, 2006
11:28 pm	Ranting As I listen to my fellow workers blather about being vested and their long term retirement plans and how happy they are to be working here and how generally wonderful life is, I find myself wondering how many mind altering brain cell killing hard drugs I'd have to take to adopt their wold view. The continued pointlessness of life scares me, but the idea of being oblivious to the pointlessness of the things one does to get through it really terrifies me. I may be a cog in the giant machine of life, but by god I'm not a good one. Its a small comfort really, but in the present world its very difficult for an individual to achieve anything bigger. People are so flooded with pointless information that they no longer analyize things, they simply form opinions and run with them against hard facts, logic, reason or any other limiting human chracteristic. Centuries ago when it was a sin to ask questions and people got tortured for doing so. there were at least five out of a hundred people who did anyway and to hell with the consquences, in fact the thought of consequinces made questioning even more exciting. Its more fun if its taboo. And then we have the modern world, where everyone asks questions about everything, and everyone has answers, most of which aren't well thought out, reasoned, relavent or their own, but because the people asking and answering are yelling about it so loudly, all the time, we simply accept their answers rather than coming up with our own. So now, when I ask my co-workers why it is that they work for a living anyway, Daniel and Roger and Henry don't answer me, George Bush does, as does Machiavellie and a Pope or two, not to mention Stalin and Marx, Daniel doesn't have to think anymore, other people already have. And that makes me want to break things. It makes me want to pull everyone's carefully constructed world down around them. Since somewhere near the start of humanity people have stomped upon the ideas of others. those in power have tried to quell all thoughts to the contrary and now that we finally have the right to think no one utilizes it. Because thinking is hard work, usually it entails going against what society and those around you consider to be the correct one true way. Swimming upstream against the tide of mental peer pressure, telling your family that you would rather live in rags on the street than in a luxery high rise apartment. And then facing that the fact that they really don't understand why. And you feel totally helpless, you have to watch them fritter away their lives hour by hour feeding someone else's empircal dream rather than taking the time to discover their own. And because of this I hate people. You can only spend so much time trying to save the damned and then you simply can't pity them anymore. I am more bitter, vengeful and twisted than anyone I know. I want the mass extinction of man-kind to come about because as I see it that's the only way for the individual to survive. A herd has no value, humanity is not the sum of its collective parts and there is nothing more important than a person's individuality. A person is individuality. Its kind of like there was a certain amount of willpower put on the planet Earth at its inception, a finite amount, and as humanity has expanded its been divided thinner and thinner, until modern man can't even dream of accomplishing, even with all our technology, some of the feats performed by our ancient ancestors. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 18th, 2006
10:52 pm	My BCMSN instructor is awesome nazi man. Many years ago the instructor for my BCMSN class wanted to be a Nazi. He studied and trained hard to become one, he mastered the piercing gaze, the screamed orders, the general loathing for humanity as a whole. Sadly, when he applied to actually be a Nazi, they informed him that he wasn't white. Which made him angry. And thus, as an alternative, he became a networking instructor. "SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ISL MEANS!" "Um, Inter Switch Link." "NO. YOU ARE WRONG. THAT IS WHAT ISL STANDS FOR. WHAT DOES ISL MEAN IN REAL ENGLIGH WORDS?! WHAT DOES IT DO?!" "Umm..." "YOU DON'T KNOW?! GOOD FOR YOU. YOU MEMORIZED AN ACRONYM FOR SOMETHING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND." The initial introductions were fun to. He went around the room, we've got some guy from Fidelity who's been working on networks since before Jesus was crucified, we have a guy from a biotek company, we have the network manager from a hospital, we have a high end tech support guy from HP, we have two guys who work on DoD projects of an unspecified nature and we have some guy who builds wireless devices. And then we have me. Until me everyone was saying things like, "Well, I have experience with blahblahblah and I've been at my company for 18+ years. We have hundreds of thousands of users. I am personally responsable for over 6,000 switches. And I am here to increase my understanding of blahblahblah." And then it was my turn. And I said, "Well, I'm not responsible for any switches, I am also not responsible for any users. I've been with my company for about six months and I don't use this at all in my day to day job, but it looked more interesting than the training that was going on in New York." And I gave them a brief back ground about DeltaNet at which point everyone decided that, contrary to my appearance, I wasn't a bum who had decided to sleep in the classroom, but rather, from Alaska. I am also the youngest member of my class. Then there was more fun with the Nazi instructor, "ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW? YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS, YOU WORK WITH THIS EVERY DAY! HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE A CCNA? I AM GOING TO REPORT ALL OF YOU TO THE CISCO POLICE FOR YOUR IGNORANCE!" I felt a lot better about my knowledge by the end of the day, because although I do have my CCNA I haven't done anything with it in the last eight months. My fellow classmates didn't know how to do things that I did know how to do and they supposedly work with it every day. Among other classics one network manager in his fifties with twenty years of experience told the instructor that 4 bytes was equal to 24 bits... LOL dozenal computers. Don't you know how to read Doz? LOL NUB. "LET US SAY THAT YOUR BOSS COMES IN TO TALK TO YOU AT 3PM ON FRIDAY AFTERNO... ERIC WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!" "There is no way in hell my Boss is going to talk to me about anything work related at 3pm on a Friday Afternoon. Even if he wanted to I would make a point of not being there." At which point he told an elaborate story involving me, my boss, my golf game, working from home and VTP. I think the intent was to embaress me in front of my fellow class mates, the only thing I found embaressing was the idea that I play golf. My classmates are all very serious folk, I don't know how they'd react if I told them that I use the BOFH archives as a kind of loose reference manual. They'd probably think I was kidding. (1 Comment |Comment on this)