The Electrovaginogram.

Don't blame me. Blame Cairo University. Or blame "Why do Men have Nipples?" by Mark Leyner, who referenced the paper which is titled by the odd medical term of the day.

This paper *1 actually exists and is both humorous, in a stale medical sort of way, and reminiscent of something out of a poorly dubbed Japanese anime. It could also have been called, "You will NEVER believe what we just got government funding to do."

Other rather odd questions covered include, "Is it dangerous to perform colonic irrigation on yourself?" and "Can you get high from licking a toad?" Which, really, are important life questions that ought to have been covered in school. Merely ponder for a moment the number of disasters which could have been averted if the answers to such common questions as these were widely know.

I think the more relavent question would be "Can you be sent to jail for licking a toad?". I can easily see toad abuse becoming a rampant problem, although that would make drug users much more interesting. There's just something appealing about a shallow eyed thin lipped skeletal figure protectively cradling a mildly disgruntled spittle covered amphibian. It'd make a good black and white charcoal drawing in a certain variety of art gallery if nothing else.

As a final question, is it possible for an officer of the law to maintain his or her dignity while ordering someone to, "STAY WHERE YOU ARE ... AND DROP THAT TOAD!".

1: The Electrovaginogram: Study of the Vaginal Electric Activity and Its Role in the Sexual Act and Disorders - Cairo University